Gottman Therapy for Ontario Couples

When we’re going through a relationship rough patch, we often fall back on old patterns or bad habits.

Perhaps we start nagging or criticizing our partner to try to get them to change.

Or if we’re really at our wits end, we can show them contempt - criticism with an added sense of superiority.

On the other side, if we’re dealing with an unhappy partner, we can start to get defensive.

We may find ourselves with rounded shoulders, averted gaze, and doing what’s known as “stonewalling” - giving our partner no verbal or nonverbal cues to our real feelings.

But these patterns and habits don’t bring us closer. They just keep us at a safe but non-fulfilling distance from the one we love.

There has to be a better way to solve relationship strife. That’s what the Gottman Method is.

The Key is to Have More Constructive Conflicts

Drs. John and Julie Gottman, creators of the Gottman Method, say that 69% of relationship conflicts are perpetual. So trying to manage these conflicts is a recipe for strife.

Now, most relationships have challenges:

• Poor communication
• Arguments
• Breaches of trust
• Bad sex
• Infidelity
• Financial issues
• Lack of appreciation
• Changing needs

But the truth is that having conflict isn’t the end of a relationship.

Almost all couples fight some of the time. So it’s not if couples fight, but how couples fight. Gottman Therapy helps couples learn to “fight better” and resolve long-standing conflicts.

How would it feel to resolve more conflicts, accept the ones that can’t be resolved, and understand and love your partner more deeply?

The Gottman Method of couples therapy is useful for:

• Couples that want to repair and strengthen their bond using the best method available
• Relationships where one or both are recovering from addiction
• Couples who experienced an affair
• New or expectant parents

If you feel that the Gottman Method is what you’re looking for, read on and reach out for a free consultation.

Process for Starting Therapy

ONE
Click the contact button below to send me a secure email, or call me now for a faster response. We’ll chat through some times to have a free consultation with both partners OR each partner individually.

TWO
You and your partner will have a chance to be heard on our consultation call. This is your chance to express your concerns and tell me whatever you’re comfortable with. I’ll tell you about my approach and answer any questions you each may have. Assuming we’re a good fit, we’ll move on to step three.

THREE
You and your partner will meet with me in person or online (telehealth) for your first session. Then, you’ll continue meeting me every week and start untangling your relationship struggles. Over time your relationship can deepen and thrive.

Hi, I’m Polina Fedotenko, an Ontario therapist trained in the Gottman Method of couples therapy.

I can help you and your partner deal with the most distressing relationship troubles and make a plan to move forward. You’ll be heard, valued, and respected at all times.

Using the Gottman Method, I’ve helped countless couples achieve peace, understanding, and deep friendship. It’s these simple emotional ingredients that help couples weather the inevitable storm.

I want you to know that I’m here for your relationship and never take sides. I see your relationship as my client, rather than one or the other partner. I help both partners repair and strengthen your relationship from the ground up.

It would be an honor to support your relationship.

-Polina Fedotenko

Licensing and Training Information

I reside and practice in Ontario, Canada and am registered with the College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario. My education includes, but is not limited to:

• Bachelor of Arts Honours Psychology – University of Waterloo
• Masters of Arts in Counselling Psychology – University of Yorkville
• Level 1 and 2 Cognitive Behavioral Therapy – University of Laurier
• Level 1 and 2 Gottman Method Couples Therapy – Gottman Institute
• Treating Affairs and Trauma – Gottman Institute
• Couples and Addiction Recovery– Gottman Institute
• Intensive Sex Therapy Program – Guelph University

You’ll find that my approach is supportive, moves at a comfortable pace, and is 100% tailored to you and your challenges. Contact me now to start your journey toward a better relationship.

1. Who is Polina Fedotenko?

I am a psychotherapist in Ontario, with an in-person location in Waterloo. I offer therapy for relationships - with a partner, friend, family member, even the relationship with oneself. When it comes to couples therapy, I specialize in using the Gottman Method to help couples repair and strengthen their relationships. If you’d like specialized support and guidance, contact me below for a free phone consultation for you and your partner.

2. What is the Gottman Method of therapy?

The Gottman Method was developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman. After studying over 3,000 couples across decades, they’ve distilled what a healthy relationship looks, feels, and acts like. The Gottman Method is arguably the most effective form of couples therapy, and is the one I use with couples in my Ontario therapy practice.

3. Does Gottman Therapy work?

It does! Gottman Therapy is remarkably effective for giving couples the tools they need to repair and understand their relationship more deeply. There is a ton of grace built into the method - even making room for inevitable conflicts and changing needs. Gottman Therapy shines in its ability to help couples quickly overcome strife, see the other’s point of view, and constructively assess their relationship. I highly recommend it.

4. What are the four horsemen of Gottman therapy?

The so-called four horsemen of Gottman Therapy are the things that no relationship can survive with. They include criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. It’s important to eliminate these from ones relationship right away and replace them with effective communication. One skill I help couples learn is to do a soft start - approach conflict from a low emotional intensity. This helps the partner hear them and focus on a solution. It’s one of many Gottman techniques that couples benefit from and which I teach my clients.

5. What is stonewalling in a marriage?

Stonewalling in a marriage (or any relationship) is when one partner shuts down and gives the other partner no cues that they’re engaged or listening. Stonewalling is often one partner’s reaction to the other partner’s contempt. It can be hard to break out of alone. If a partner in a marriage is stonewalling the other, I can help create trust and safety so that they come out of it and begin to communicate again.

6. How long does Gottman Therapy last?

My couple's clients engage in Gottman Therapy for an average of 4-12 months. It can take a while for a relationship to repair old wounds, strengthen bonds of intimacy and trust, and habitualize healthy communication. But I’ve helped dozens of couples do exactly that. The good part is that relationships progress over the course of our sessions and get more and more fulfilling and enjoyable.

7. How to get started in Gottman therapy?

To get started in Gottman Therapy online or in person in Ontario, simply click one of the buttons below, or fill out the contact form above. We’ll start with a free, no-obligation phone call for each partner to see how I may be able to help and if we’re a good fit. In case we’re not the best fit, I will likely have trusted colleagues whom I can refer you to.